Chilly Scenes of Winter, by Ann Beattie

Here is an early scene in the book. It’s entertaining, advances the plot (by introducing the reader to characters and setting the scene of young people getting together for dinner in one of their apartments), and the speech seems very natural. The final sentence that Sam speaks is very believable—and I’d imagine it would be a difficult one to write without it sounding fake or sentimental:

   “Yeah, but I don’t like you. You wouldn’t move over for me, so I won’t give you any beer.”
   Elise giggles. No matter what Sam does, he always has great success with women.
    “What if I get it myself?” Elise says.
    “Ah!” Sam says. “An aggressive woman. Are you an aggressive woman?”
    “When Susan and I take to the streets we’re very aggressive,” Elise says.
    “I wouldn’t doubt it,” Sam says. “College kids are nuts now. You probably do hit the streets.”
    “Are you drunk?” Susan says.
    “No. Just trying to be cheerful. My dog died.”
    “We’re eating in five minutes,” Charles calls.
   Elsie goes out to the kitchen for a beer.
    “What happened to your dog?” Susan says.
    “Had a heart attack. Eight years old. Everybody’s dog lives longer than that.” [2]

In this quote, Charles is trying to force Betty to give him the phone number of his previous girlfriend. It’s a creepy thing to put into a character’s mouth, but the author does it well:

    “Is there a phone? Do you have her number?”
    “It’s unlisted,” Betty says. “I’ve got it somewhere.”
    “Can you get it? Can you give it to me right now?”
   …
    “Betty, don’t forget to find that number.”
    “I’ll look for it,” she says.
    “You can find it, can’t you?”
    “I’ll give it to you tomorrow,” she says.
   He wants it that second.
    “Thank you,” he says. “Please find it.”
    “I will,” she says. “Good night.” [233]

This final quote is surprisingly tender: it’s gentle and there’s a lot unspoken (some of which gets spoken later in the novel). One can see how carefully the characters are treading around each other, trying to see if the spark of their relationship survives:

    “Coming in, I started remembering that dessert you used to make with chocolate and the oranges, and I thought about begging you to make it immediately.”
    “Oh. I know the one you mean. You can come over sometime and I’ll make it for you.”
   Sometime? What is she talking about?
    “Tomorrow?” he says.
    “Tomorrow? I guess so. If you want to,” she says.”
   The conversation had started all wrong. She is sitting on the mattress, her back against the wall. He sits down at the end of the mattress, looking up at her.
    “You’ve got a roommate?” he says.
    “Yes. She’s at the library. She’s in graduate school.”
    “Oh. Well, what are…what are you doing?”
    “Looking frantically for work.”
    “Why don’t you come back to the library?”
    “I don’t want to,” she says.
    “Are you looking for another job like that.”
    “I wouldn’t care. I’ve just got to get a job.” [253]