Something Happened, by Joseph Heller

In which we are introduced to Bob.

Anya answers the door; would David even know how to work the knob? “Bob,” she’s actually pleasantly surprised; she’d hoped she’d see him but didn’t think he would come.

Bob, for his part, immediately wanted Anya. Take her right there in the doorway. But how would he let her know? Twist her titty? (Ha, ha). He felt he hadn’t grown up any since his days at the insurance company. Maybe they could at least do it on the couch?

“Hey, Anya. Is Mac around?” Was that too obvious? First thing asking about Mac?

“No, he couldn’t come. So we can do it later in the bedroom.”

He was kicking himself; he couldn’t tell if she was serious. Too bad he’d cut out from work early to give it to a prostitute before the party. At least the company paid for that.

“Jesus, you think I’m serious?” Anya sighed. “Anyway, I’m glad you’re here. I’m so bored. The lollypop kids are in the kitchen.”

She’d tried a joke. He should laugh. He waited too long; she was staring. He took a quick look at her boobs. At least he’d had that glance. He’d never have a woman like Marie Jencks. Unless he paid for her.

“Let’s go talk on the couch,” Anya says.

“Alright. You know, I’m sorry Anya. Things are been hard since my son died.”

Anya hoped this wouldn’t be all they talked about. Things are hard all around. But his child’s death. She couldn’t avoid talking about it if he pressed on with it.

“Things have gotten better since I took control of my life. Like when Martha went crazy. I had them call her a limo. That was thinking!”

“You’re doing real well,” Anya attempted to conform him. She was surprised when David entered the room.

“How’s things, old Chap?” David asked.

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“You don’t have to talk to him,” Anya interceded.

“I’ve had rough times too, Bob. I always came through them. Maybe you should have been published in serial form?”

“Christ!” clearly disgusted, Bob storms out of the room and Anya after him, giving David a reproachful, dirty look.